Life certainly has its moments of inevitable drama here and there, which if you think about it, are usually caused by having a disagreement with someone. It can be as complicated as an argument with your spouse over money or as simple as a mixing of words with a stranger who accused you of cutting in line at checkout. Whatever the case may be, I think most of us can agree that when we become involved in confrontations or arguments, life feels less happy for a while afterwards. It’s almost like walking around with a gray cloud over your head or a puddle of poison in your chest. That negativity follows you around because there is usually no immediate peacemaking, therefore, it lingers in your thoughts and affects the rest of your day. I don’t know about you, but I can’t stand that feeling. Some people seem to live for drama, but I’m not one of them.
Therefore, I do my best to avoid it by doing the following three things as soon as situations start to heat up:
1. First, I honestly and truthfully do my best to put myself in the other person’s position. Now, depending upon how emotionally charged I am, or the other person happens to be in that moment, this can be really difficult to do without immediately dishing out the first thing that comes to mind. But I challenge myself to stay quiet for a second and think over what’s really happening and how the other person must be feeling before saying a word.
2. Next, admit when I’m wrong or when I’ve done something wrong. It’s not always easy, but it’s well worth it in the grand scheme of things. This can save important relationships and make them stronger. When you’re dealing with a stranger, this is still important as we’re all constantly spreading energy out into the world, and the people around you are influenced by the energy you choose to put out there. I personally think this world would be a better place if more could learn to verbally admit when they’re wrong. Some people think of this as showing weakness, but if you think about it, this is actually an act of courage and strength since it can be a very difficult thing to do.
- One tactic to consider is going the self deprecating route, especially when dealing with strangers. Oftentimes, it ends up making the other person laugh.
3. And finally, say I’m sorry. This is very necessary. Learning to admit when you’re wrong is only half of the equation; it must be followed by an apology to help bring closure to the incident.
- Admittedly, there have been times where I truly did not feel that I was in the wrong, but I still tried to bring closure to the situation with an apology. “I’m really sorry that you feel this way”, or “I’m very sorry this has turned into an argument” are two examples.
I’ll be the first to say that I’m far from perfect. I’m not 100% when it comes to doing the above three things, but I’ll never stop working at it. After all, life is too short for drawn out and unnecessary drama.